Part 3 - God Promises to Heal My Son
My whole life, I had been taught that God leads doctors to provide you the best health treatment, that He blesses science to give us more knowledge, and that He blesses us through new drugs to treat illnesses. So when my son became chronically ill with all of these symptoms – severe eczema, vomiting, diarrhea, and failure to thrive – I naturally thought that what I needed to do was not to ask God for healing or inquire about how He would provide healing but rather simply follow doctor’s orders and ask God to guide them.
My beliefs were challenged when I was faced with watching my child’s health continue to deteriorate, in spite of strictly following doctor’s orders. What was most disheartening was that the medical community was not offering any true solutions, hope, or healing. Throughout those first 9 months, I was filled with anxiety, yearning for help so that my baby could thrive and be healthy. For months, I went from doctor to doctor, from one specialist to the next, only to see my child get worse from each drug or formula recommended. I felt desperate, helpless, and increasingly hopeless.
The turning point came when we received the diagnosis of Eosinophilic Esophagitis (EoE) and the only solution given was to give him an oral steroid. No trying to find his allergies, no dietary changes recommended, no addressing of his diarrhea, no trying to figure out the root cause, and no view of him as a whole person instead of individual symptoms.
My motherly instinct screamed inside. I did not want to patch the problem only for it to return. My child needed healing. The idea of simply increasing his caloric intake instead of trying to figure out what was causing the chronic diarrhea made absolutely no sense. Covering his body in steroids, only for the eczema to return more aggressively, was nonsense. I knew these were not solutions. I didn’t know where to turn to or what other specialist I could contact. I was filled with immense anxiety as I saw no hope for a better outcome within conventional medicine.
Lucas, my husband, and I became very stressed from the hospital stay when they diagnosed Lucas with EoE. His little body did not take it well and we really struggled controlling his eczema once we got home. So we decided we needed a nature retreat and went to the beach for four days to recover and reflect. Personally, what I was seeking most was hearing God’s voice. I was in desperate need of His peace. My anxiety would get so bad at times that I would have full blown anxiety attacks. Anything could trigger me. My nervous system was constantly on the edge. The only thing I thought of was, “How many bowel movements has my baby had today? How many times did he vomit? What do I feed him that won’t give him diarrhea? Has he gained any weight? How do I help his frantic itching? How do I heal his eczema wounds?” Every day was a battle and although I would talk to God about it, I realized something wasn’t right because I couldn’t hear Him as I had other times in my life. I was not being filled with His peace that I once knew so well. I finally came to the point where all I wanted was to hear God and feel His peace. This retreat was the perfect opportunity.
I was truly not expecting much from God. I wasn’t seeking a new revelation or an answer to a specific question. I wasn’t even seeking healing for my son anymore, but rather that God would simply work out His will, even if that meant losing my son. I was finally in a place where, wholeheartedly, all I was seeking was to hear God’s voice, see His glory, and feel His peace.
So, there I was on September 3rd, 2016, on the beach with my Bible, pursuing God. I had asked my husband to care for Lucas a little while for me to have some personal time with God. As I was sitting there, watching the waves and feeling the breeze and stillness, I poured out my heart to God. I confessed that I had not been seeking Him first. I confessed that I had let my anxiety take over my life. I confessed that I had lost complete sight of Him and that I had been trying to resolve Lucas’ health issues by myself instead of letting Him lead me. I told God I was ready to let Him take charge; I couldn’t bear this burden anymore.
I began reading my Bible with the intention to hear God and the verse that touched me most was Jeremiah 33:3, “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” I began crying out to God for this promise to be true in my life and for God to answer me. My heart ached. All I wanted was for God to hold me, give me peace, and talk to me. As I was wrestling with God and claiming this promise, suddenly, everything became still in my mind, and these words came clear: “I will heal him, but not yet.” I felt the voice of God answering my call. I began crying, full of emotion, in somewhat disbelief, and an immense peace came over me.
I took that promise to heart and never once questioned it. God would heal my son. I didn’t care what the “not yet” part meant. I didn’t start questioning, “well, but how long?” God had answered and given me much more than I could have imagined. God knew just what I needed to hear to get me through the next 2 years that would follow. The bigger the test of faith, the clearer and more certain the promise.
6 replies on “Part 3 – God Promises to Heal My Son”
This is the first Bible verse I memorized as a child, I just preached at a church while telling my sons testimony about diabetes type 1 improvement. Thanks for sharing! Keep writing !
Praise God! Thank you for the encouragement 🙂
I am so emotional reading this. I cannot thank you enough for sharing your journey and for stirring my heart… more so for encouraging my need to pursue and restore my faith. Perhaps your journey has been for this exact reason.. to glorify god and to his word. I look forward to reading more of your/Lucas’/Cristians’ journey. <3
Praise God! May God lead you in your spiritual and healing journey <3
Wow, just wow!
First of all I wanted to say thank you so much for sharing your story. I read it with tears streaming down my face!!
I am a believer and have been for over 20 years. Without God, I don’t know where I would be!!
My son is 23 months old. We have struggled with his weight and eczema since he was 2 months old… right after getting his shots. We have a dermatologist, allergist, GI doctor, and pediatrician. My son Hudson is in the 1st percentile for weight. He hasn’t gained anything in a year and has eczema from head to toe. He throws up almost daily and has severe food aversions. He was just diagnosed with EOE last month. He is failure to thrive and has malabsorption. The doctors all say to give him formula. I have always thought that his gut is leaky but the doctors never agree on that except his pediatrician who is a more holistic doctor.
Your sorry has given me hope. God will heal my son!!