Part 5 - When Your Faith is Tested
With the understanding that God had given me through His Word and the faith He implanted in my heart, I was determined to obey God and follow His instructions. However, the question remained, “What natural means will help my son heal?” As I studied scripture and daily gave my will to God, I stumbled upon a one-hour health lecture on YouTube by Barbara O’Neill. I was immediately captivated by her knowledge. She was teaching just what God had impressed in my heart and had so much wisdom in regard to using natural remedies for healing. I watched all of her lectures within a week, but I needed more specific knowledge to help my son, and that is when I found her email. I emailed her asking for her advice for my son’s case and to my surprise, she emailed me back the very same day. This first exchange started our daily email conversations as she began to guide me.
I knew God had guided me to find Barbara O’Neill and I immediately began implementing her recommendations—none of which could pose a risk for Lucas. Up to this point, we had experimented with several different elimination diets, but none seemed to help Lucas. I kept on eliminating foods and it felt like my son would not be able to eat anything because his symptoms continued. Barbara gave me some suggestions to change my diet one more time, for example replacing oats with millet and rice with quinoa. We also began giving Lucas some natural remedies like slippery elm.
The Decision To Take Our Son Off Drugs
Several things had happened at the same time: God revealing His plan to heal Lucas, me stumbling upon Barbara O’Neill, and the conviction in my heart that I had to take Lucas off all drug medications. Before I go on, I must be clear that none of the medications my son was taking were lifesaving; there was no imminent risk to take him off them. At this time, we were using a steroid oil on his skin from head to toe, high amounts of Hydroxyzine, and Budesonide (steroid medication) for his eosinophilic esophagitis. The only medication that maybe had some benefit was the Budesonide, because Lucas seemed to have started having less vomiting, but he was still not gaining weight. This drug, however, would not allow us to find out what he was truly allergic to because it masked the symptoms and it was not serving its purpose in helping Lucas gain weight as his severe diarrhea continued. At this time, we also decided that we would not be vaccinating Lucas at his one-year appointment.
I could give you countless scientific reasons and explanations for why we made the decision to take our son off the drugs, but at the end, it was simply an act of faith. God had made it very clear that He would heal our son but His way, without drugs. God had promised to reveal to me “great and might things which you do not know” to heal my son, but I had to take the first step of faith (Jeremiah 33:3).
To be honest, the decision wasn’t hard. It came naturally as a progression of everything God was revealing to me. It also helped that the drugs did not seem to help, and countless advice given by the physicians had only made Lucas get worse.
As we weaned Lucas off his drugs, he began having pretty bad withdrawal symptoms. He began to be itch like never before— desperately. He just couldn’t stop. He did not want to do anything but scratch. His skin exploded in head to toe eczema like we had never seen before.We would slather him in a homemade shea butter cream I made and would do wet wrap therapy (one layer of wet clothes right after applying the cream and then one layer of dry clothes).
To prevent scratching as much as possible, we only put onesies on him and put tape around the wrist of his onesie so he couldn’t pull the sleeves up. He still found any way he could to scratch. Every diaper change was a battle to keep him from scratching. It was a horrific four weeks, but his body finally calmed down and we were able to see what his true, baseline eczema looked like. He still itched, but not as desperately. He still had eczema, but it was not as severe or inflamed.
Our Son Begins To Heal
After a month of making the dietary changes recommended by Barbara O’Neill, implementing natural remedies, and taking Lucas off the drugs, we finally began to see hope. His eczema became somewhat more manageable, and most importantly, his diarrhea stopped, and he began to gain weight after nearly 6 months of no weight gain! He began to develop quickly. All the things he had missed (from being so weak and constantly itching) he began to do. We finally had a baby full of energy ready to explore the world. He began to crawl at 11 months and quickly moved on to holding on to furniture to practice taking steps. He was not throwing up, he was eating well, and everything indicated that we had finally found healing. It could only get better from here.
Our Faith Is Tested
The future was looking bright. It seemed we had finally gotten out of this storm and could see the sunshine ahead of us. Then, out of nowhere, the storm came back stronger than we could have ever imagined. After all the progress Lucas had made, he came crashing down. The explosive diarrhea and vomiting came back, which quickly debilitated his entire system. Nothing had changed in his diet or environment, so his deterioration made absolutely no sense. Over the course of the next few months, Lucas began to lose the weight he had gained, he began to lose his hair, and his eczema was out of control. Due to the constant severe diarrhea, he had very low protein levels in his blood, which left him with no strength for his muscles to develop and grow. He went from almost walking by himself, to barely having the strength to sit.
What were we to do now? Our son was disintegrating right in front of our eyes. Most alarming to doctors was his low protein level. However, once again, instead of focusing on what was causing it and how to heal it, the Gastroenterologist (GI) suggested to feed him with total parenteral nutrition (TPN), which is a method of feeding that bypasses the digestive tract and instead uses a special formula that is given through the vein to provide nutrients. This sounded like the least natural way to feed a human. We had a long conversation with the GI and decided not to go for it and wait it out.
What followed was a year full of trials and endless debates whether to use conventional medicine or not. It seemed that in trying the natural way, God’s way, it caused our son’s health to come crashing down in illness. We were so strict, so disciplined, and had done our work in faith. Why was God not providing healing? He was simply testing our faith.
God had promised He would heal Lucas, but He was very specific to tell me “not yet” and I didn’t know how long that would be. However, the way God revealed Himself to me was so powerful that I never doubted my son would be healed. Therefore, when the doctors told me that Lucas couldn’t live with such low protein levels, I thought, “you do not define whether my son dies or lives, God already established that he will live and be healed.” The question at hand was whether it was ok to use conventional medicine while we waited on God. I would be lying if I didn’t tell you of the countless times where all I wanted to do was run to the hospital and let the physicians do whatever they felt needed to be done to keep him alive and thrive. However, each time I felt that way, the power of the Holy Spirit was much stronger in me and I was reminded that God’s promise of healing was conditional that we obey Him. Hebrews 10:35-36 says, “Therefore do not cast away your confidence, which has great reward. For you have need of endurance, so that after you have done the will of God, you may receive the promise.” I needed to persevere.
There were endless debates in my house, with family, and with friends about our decision to not use conventional medicine. I was judged and treated as a crazy person “hearing voices” by pastors, church leaders, therapist, and close friends. However, the conviction God gave me was much stronger than any argument anyone could throw at me. They argued I needed to hospitalize my son immediately to save his life; that God would bless the doctors and drugs to bring healing but the Spirit was telling me to “trust and obey.” I cannot put into words the divine strength and faith that God gave me. The conviction that I had to endure this trial and block out all human sense and advice, was only imparted by God. It was not human strength; it was supernatural power from the Holy Spirit. This is how I knew I was doing God’s will, because on my own I could not have possibly stood on my ground.
The year 2017 was full of pain, insecurity, and helplessness. However, at the same time, it was filled with faith, strength, and hope. I got to truly experience what it means to be closest to God when pain and trials are the greatest.
We barely slept that year. Some days, I had no emotional strength to go to work. Most days, I spent praying every hour, crying my eyes out and asking God to sustain me, my family, and my son. I look back and I can see God’s glory revealed throughout that entire year. He never left me. He was always there. He carried me, my husband, and my son in His arms. At the hardest times, I would kneel next to my son’s bed as he slept and asked Jesus to keep his heart beating through the night. I know Jesus did just that and only He sustained his life. As I saw my son’s life hanging by thread, I was constantly reminded that “the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” (Romans 8:18). And so it was, His glory we finally did see.
The answer from God to my desperate call was, “I will heal your son, but not yet.” This promise lifted my spirits and filled me with hope. However, the natural question that would follow was, “What do I do meanwhile? How will you provide healing?” Over the next few months, I spent much time claiming the second part of Jeremiah 33:3, that God will “show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.”
My beliefs were challenged when I was faced with watching my child’s health continue to deteriorate, in spite of strictly following doctor’s orders. What was most disheartening was that the medical community was not offering any true solutions, hope, or healing. Throughout those first 9 months, I was filled with anxiety, yearning for help so that my baby could thrive and be healthy. For months, I went from doctor to doctor, from one specialist to the next, only to see my child get worse from each drug or formula recommended. I felt desperate, helpless, and increasingly hopeless.
My motherly instinct screamed inside. I did not want to patch the problem only for it to return. My child needed healing. The idea of simply increasing his caloric intake instead of trying to figure out what was causing the chronic diarrhea made absolutely no sense. Covering his body in steroids, only for the eczema to return more aggressively, was nonsense. I knew these were not solutions. I didn’t know where to turn to or what other specialist I could contact. I was filled with immense anxiety as I saw no hope for a better outcome within conventional medicine.
I took that promise to heart and never once questioned it. God would heal my son. I didn’t care what the “not yet” part meant. I didn’t start questioning, “well, but how long?” God had answered and given me much more than I could have imagined. God knew just what I needed to hear to get me through the next 2 years that would follow. The bigger the test of faith, the clearer and more certain the promise. 
But the happiness didn’t last long. As we later discovered, the steroids were masking the eczema. After 3 days of reintroducing wheat, Lucas was covered in eczema and later began explosively throwing up. I was so confused. I thought we were in the clear, it had been three days! I was heartbroken and desperate.
We went back to the dermatologist a month after. This time, we got to see a pediatric dermatologist and we hoped to get some more insight. However, she was both very rude and dismissive of all of our concerns. She told us to try to use the steroid for 2 days on and 2 days off. I shared with her the concern the pharmacist had expressed and wanted to know exactly how much I needed to apply as I was worried it could be too much. I was also beginning to doubt the safety and effectiveness of the steroid oil. The doctor assured me again to simply apply as much oil as was needed for the eczema to clear. I asked what we would do if he didn’t respond to the oil and the answer was to keep trying a stronger steroid until he grew out of it. I wanted to know her input about the connection with diet, and again she dismissed it saying it had no correlation and to not worry, he was going to grow it out. I was treated as an ignorant person. There was no respect for my questions and concerns.
Doctors performed the endoscopy, colonoscopy, and put a nasal tube in him all while he was sedated. I was still to breastfeed and feed him as normal, and at night we would feed him through the nasal tube. They tried a different formula called Neocate, but it had pretty much the same ingredients except for the soy oil. Lucas would normally still wake up every 2 hours to breastfeed, but with the nasal tube, he didn’t want to breastfeed. The formula was not adding calories; it was just replacing my breast milk. On the forth day, Lucas began throwing up explosively; he was reacting to Neocate.
